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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has traditionally served as the safe haven of your Daily, and writers stay alert regarding memorable lavatory incidents and key events, notably connected to soccer. What a delight it was to learn that Big Website columnist Adrian Chiles has a West Brom-themed urinal in his house. Reflect for a moment about the Tykes follower who interpreted the restroom rather too directly, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo during halftime of a 2015 loss against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his headwear,” explained a representative from Barnsley fire services. And everyone remembers at the pinnacle of his career playing for City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to use the facilities during 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired where the toilets were, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” an undergraduate shared with local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth alongside FA executive David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the famous old stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched struggling national team changing area right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams motivated, the two stars urging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies worked frantically to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate for confidential discussion?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I closed the door after us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Consequences

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, later admitting that he had found his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I began working with the visually impaired team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” The English game has progressed significantly over the past twenty-five years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the technical area Keegan previously used. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Live Updates

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women’s Bigger Cup updates concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Daily Quotation

“We stood there in a lengthy line, clad merely in our briefs. We were Europe’s best referees, premier athletes, inspirations, grown-ups, parents, determined individuals with great integrity … but no one said anything. We hardly glanced at one another, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures referees were previously subjected to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles.

“Since you've opened the budget and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This masochistic tendency must account for his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy yet the only follow-up season honor I predict him achieving by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|